My 15 (actually 16!) for 2015 (My Songs of The Year)

This 2015 has been one heck of a roller-coaster ride of emotions for me - all about never-ending changes and sometimes recycled relationships. Of musings about the past, splashed with a few moments that awaken the senses. Somehow, these songs blasting on the airwaves, with most becoming my year's personal anthems, have made it to my top tunes to listen to and made 2015 quite interesting (whereas the word is not even the apt description that comes to mind but what the heck).

This, in the age of the #feels and the #hugotLines, and some fifty shades of everything thrown into the mix. Some of these songs may have not reached mainstream and others you may not be too familiar with (no, you won't find anything Nae, nae or twerk it like Mileys in here) yet these were the songs that are part of my playlist all-year round and hope you would enjoy these as much as I did. - and possibly feel the same emotions evoked by each beat and lyrics. I know there are still a few weeks to go before 2015 leaves us forever but I already compiled the songs that captivated my mind, heart and ears at least up to this 11th month.

15) Hotline Bling - Drake  
that sort of hypnotic beat just would be hard to get rid off your ear once you listen to it a few times. Drake seems to come up with those repetitive lyrics and chorus lines but still manages to catch the attention. Just forget the rather awkward dance moves on the video and this is sure to be a good enough song to listen to while you're bored and kind of pissed off. Most especially for guys who just couldn't stand it when their girls start to go out more 'and wear less'. It's like he realizes that what he can do, she can do better. Hah!

14) Chandelier - Sia
This may very well be an ode to suicide disguised as pop art. But there is a certain artistry that draws you to this song. And no one can deny the talent that Sia has. The music video is catchy enough with the brilliant dance moves but the real deal is in the way both lyrics and beat were put together to match Sia's compelling voicals. When talking about depression in the song doesn't sound depressing. And the line  in the song '1-2-3, 1-2-3 drink' caught my attention forever.

13) Sugar- Maroon 5 
Oh, Adam Levine. He is like that guy whom you wouldn't mind having in your squad. And on your wedding date for that matter. This is one catchy tune that you can just enjoy singing and jiggling your head over and over while you listen.

12) Blank Space - Taylor Swift
This is the decade of the blond young Taylor, most definitely. This song was already playing on most of our radio before year 2014 ended but somehow still crossed over to feed our musical senses in early 2015. I just love singing and listening to this song. Never mind that she's a decade or so younger than me but this girl just cannot be denied her stardom and artistry. Most of her songs are pretty easy to relate to but what got me hooked in this is the first part 'I can make the bad guys good for the weekend', with those kinds of lyrics, it would be just hard to keep that off the charts.

11) Hello - Adele
 A late addition to my playlist of 2015 but yes, better late when it's this good. Adele went on a brief hiatus from the industry and this song is like a great big shoutout to the world that says 'Hello' I'm still here and I'm going to be on each and everyone's ears by the time this year's ove'r. "Hello from the other side"- that's been my staple lyric while at bath..much to the annoyance of my niece and sister. But I'm most definitely going to nail this in full, you'll see. I really love Adele and can't wait to listen to more songs from her new album. this is just one hello.

10) Meet Me In The Middle - Jessie Ware
What is it about British singer-songwriters? They're just all over the place this 2015. And definitely giving us those songs with the most feels. Jessie Ware is no exception. This bluesy piece, is perfect in its sensual beat that goes well with the singer's sultry voice. Hands down making it to one of my favorite songs in the Fifty Shades of Grey soundtrack. Come to think of it, my 2015 is full of the fifty shades stuff and more "Meet me in the middle,
Tell me something
That could change my mind
I couldn't let it be known,
This it is every time I refuse to say goodbye.
 Oh how I just love the Brits especially when they're singing songs that match my mood.

 

10) Lay Me Down - Sam Smith 
The voice is haunting yet soothing at best. Always ringing in my ear. I could listen to Sam Smith all day. Lay Me Down is that song you just want to hear while holding that glass of rose` and lost in perpetual melancholy after realizing that the love of your life may be gone forever. And you're just stuck wishing you could lay down with him just a bit longer. Sigh!
Can I lay by your side?
Next to you, you
And make sure you're alright
I'll take care of you
I don't want to be here if I can't be with you tonight

Get the drift?? 

9) Like I'm Gonna Lose You - Meghan Trainor ft. John Legend
It's not just all about the bass for Ms. Meghan Trainor. This song is definitely one of those songs you wouldn't mind playing in your ear each day. More so when it features my favorite John Legend. The lyrics is something to ponder on as well. Like loving someone as if it's the last chance you're going to have in the world, before it's all gone. It shows the importance of caring for the people while you're with them because as the song says 'we're not promised forever'. So I'm gonna love you, like I'm gonna lose you. I'm gonna hold you like we're saying goodbye.. This give us the major case of the 'feels'.

 8) One Last Night - Vaults - this is another one of those songs in the soundtrack of Fifty Shades of Grey. Part of my morning playlist especially during the months of February to May 2015 and had this on while getting ready for work. This song somehow carries the same sentiments as Like I'm Gonna Lose you. I'ts like having that one last night to hold on to, make something last even in just your memories. Electropop from another British act to raise the spirit up a notch.




 

 
 7) All That - Carly Rae Jepsen
This song reminds me of some of the 80's love ballads. It is so retro I love it, complete with the synthesizer mix that was ubiquitous back in that decade. You could almost forget that this is the same gal who gave us Call Me Maybe. And I like this one much, much better indeed. It's about being there for someone. To be all that someone needs and more. As I write these words, I can still hear that faint distinct melody and lyrics ringing in my ear oh so quietly.."show me if you want me if I'm all that.."

6) Rather Be - Clean Bandit 

The intro got me hooked from the get go.. "Oh, woah'.. sang in semi-hum and moan. can't quite place the emotions this song bring but I really love how it takes me into a different location inside the head each time. That kind of song.

It's a pretty good beat to dance on to. And it is something that tells your loved one that even if you're a thousand miles from comfort, wherever you may be, even amid squalid surroundings and not so ideal situation, as long as that special one is with you, there's no place you'd rather be. Ah, love! and the sound of travel.

5) Style - Taylor Swift
This was also Ms. Swift's year as last year was and I think the year before too. But yes, we don't mind. If she spawns these kinds of songs year in and year out then we don't care if she perennially comes out among our top songs list. And style is just so that. Definitely captured that sentiment of mine mid-year. It's like getting back to that old habit - yes, the habit of hooking up with that someone from your past that you just can't get away from. Because the two of you  just never go out of style. 

 4) Uptown Funk- Mark Ronson ft. Bruno Mars
This got me singing in swinging in all the right places. That beat is just amazing and yes, Bruno Mars will always be Bruno Mars. Someone I also wouldn't mind hogging my Top songs of the year annually. This song is perfect when you're feeling the vibe, just want to feel good, and happy about the world. Like the effects of vodka or marijuana perhaps. No haven't tried the grass but vodka buzz is nothing new. So this would be one of those songs that can play each year and will keep sounding new to the ear. I just love it's beat. And the music video contributes to the LSS too

3) Earned It - The Weeknd
First time I heard this was in February of this year, and it made me anticipate the movie Fifty Shades then. This is probably among the most popular tunes in that movie's sound track along with Beyonce's re-mastered Crazy In Love and my no. 1 song of the year. The lead singer's voice is definitely worth listening to and I especially am mesmerized by that part of the lyrics when he sang 'you make it look like it's magic. coz I see nobody, nobody but you', for such is a feeling when you're utterly infatuated with someone where you don't mind being used a little, knowing that you yourself earned that right to be used or abused as you please. Of course, with reference to the book and the movie about a sort of abusive relationship with romantic underpinnings. This is like the perfect caption to the movie's narrative if there ever was one. but the music is a stand alone entertainment and I love it.

2) Thinking Out Loud - Ed Sheeran 
this may very well have made it to the top but came undone when our country somehow made this their national anthem. But yes, it does deserve a top spot in every music lovers' heart, with the artistry of Ed Sheeran backed with additional dancing talent as shown on the music video. The pure kind of love that this song offers is a refreshing alternative to all the heavy breathing, melancholy-filled, sultriness, the hooking-up with your ex- songs and sado-masochism tendencies that seem to characterize most of my favorite songs this year. It's a song that makes you want to raise your head while you listen to the first line even as you busily type away on your keyboard at work or reading something on your cellphone. And just makes you smile at the recollection of such a pure love that can very well last at lifetime, or at least until you're 70..

1) Love Me Like You Do - Ellie Goulding
Okay, this is very well the love theme of the year. And again! from the Fifty Shades soundtrack. Told ya! This is something about recognizing the dark side of your loved one, you have your qualms about the relationship but then would still want him to love you like he does. In his own way, the way that he's used to. It's about not putting on blinders when you're infatuated but this is more of the acceptance of your partner's flaws but still realizing that you want him after all. Because you know that he is both the cure and the pain in your life yet choosing to live with it. Viva la Cincuenta sombras de Grey, and hail, to the British invasion that rocked our music world this 2015.

Happy Papa's Day!

I couldn't recall ever having written a real tribute to my father or to  'Papa' as we call him. Well, his character left my young mind with the impression that he wouldn't really like it that much. He's not really the emotional type or one who'd feel comfortable having accolades thrown at him or his personal attributes spoken or written for the public eye. Maybe it's the Sagittarius male side of him that shuns any overt display of emotion or he just wants things as simple and uncomplicated as possible . Nonetheless, and on the occasion of Father's Day tomorrow, June 21st, I feel it's only fitting that I wrote a few things about him that I know made an impact on me. He was after all taken from us at a young age of 60 (from a heart attack) and I was still in my teens then.  And he was also out of the country for a few years then stayed in the province months before he passed on, so those last few years with him have been an on again off again relationship with our father. Still and will always be the primary male personality in my life.

But I will often look back with fondness of those bits and pieces of kid's memories while he was with us. Will always love his sense of humor, his playful way with words to coax us little kids to comb his hair and rub his back while he tries to take a nap, and often me and my sister would exchange helpless glances at having our play interrupted after lunch. Now, I realized that it's probably Papa's way to keep us quiet and make us take our mandatory kiddie siesta because only a few seconds of combing his hair, both my sister and I would fall asleep before he does. Well played, Papa, well played. haha.

I also recall his protective ways in the simple things - like buying 'taho' one morning.  While my sister and I were rushing to go out with our glasses to buy taho that one sunny morning of long ago, Papa then stopped us from our tracks and asked us not to buy anymore and to return our glasses at the pantry. While mildly disappointed at missing our favorite morning treat, Papa then explained that he saw one of the neighbor's kids poked a finger inside the taho container, licked his fingers then poked the licked finger back at the soy inside. That's when Papa decided that we shouldn't buy our taho that day. I would always look back at that morning with a smile, Papa and his endearingly sweet way of protecting us. Oh, how he would have raised a fuss at what we put in our mouths these days!. Sorry, Papa! but that's another story and yes, thank you for saving us from that icky bacteria-infested finger of the little neighbor. hahaha.

And  I could  also associate morning coffee with him. He used to drink his coffee in this very large transparent mug and my sister and I would often take turns in drinking the last remaining 1/8 portion of his coffee. this we often referred to as our 'tira-kape' moment. He would call us and ask who wants that last part of his coffee and Leslie and I would come rushing to him to finish off the mug's content. Whoever gets to his side first wins the much-coveted coffee part. It's amazing how a simple thing as that can evoke one of the sweetest memories of my childhood. Up to this day, the way I prepare my own cup of coffee is reminiscent of the taste of how Papa makes his coffee.

And there are the poignant moments that I saw of him and Mama. With the two of them dancing sweetly to the sound of the music playing on the stereo. Both my parents love music so much and how they make it their unspoken ritual to dance to the soft melody. The memory of him and Mama dancing in our living room is still very much alive here in my mind. 

The songs he sings. The baritone voice, who can best the likes of Matt Monroe, Perry Como, Jack Jones. During parties (company gatherings or family get-togethers), he would be asked to sing and deep inside my very young mind, I felt every excitement hearing his voice. To this day, not even any of my brothers can hold a candle to his voice. Sorry, Mario, Mike and Bingo, but even your church choir experience is no match to Papa's voice and I'm sure you all would not disagree.

And that ampalaya moment. I remember one time when we only have ampalaya for lunch. To make the meal more enjoyable, he asked us to eat one portion of the bitter vegetable then drink water after. He advised that when one eats ampalaya, the water would taste differently and good. And that's how he made eating ampalaya such an exciting and tasteful experience for me. And to this day, I'm thankful that he did so as I'm sure I'm one of the few kids in our lifetime who enjoyed the bitter gourd growing up and beyond. Who knew such bitterness can lead to such a lifetime of sweetness.

Papa also is a man of few words. He is the kind of father na 'makuha ka sa tingin' type and my brothers & sister know that we shouldn't do anything to cross him when he's having a bad day. While he writes eloquently and can probably put up one chapter of book in writing us letters, when he speaks, you better listen. He doesn't want to repeat instructions, he seldom raise his voice but you can very well hear him when he talks. He is strict but not in the suffocating manner. It's more of just keeping us grounded and well-behaved. Because when it all comes down to it, he is also the kind of man who wants to have fun with family, with Mama and with his children and friends. As shown in these pictures. Too bad, I can't find our old album where he carries me so this only has my brothers with him and Mama.

Papa with Mama and my brothers Mario, Mike and Bingo

Papa (3rd from left) at a party in our cousin's house. Having a beer with  film stars and Mr. Eddie Garcia. My uncle was a scriptwriter in the movies and celebrities during their events were a common sight.

I would always remember the letters he wrote us, his advices, the wit of his essays, the metaphors of his writings. Too bad I lost a lot of his letters sent to me while he was away in the Middle East. I would have loved to reread them now. And maybe find a way to reconnect with him as there will always be a space inside this heart that would forever remain blank with his passing.

Papa, you will forever be missed and celebrated too!. Happy Father's Day!! Send my regards to the Greatest Father up there too!

Realization - May (or may not) Rhyme with Confusion

There is that feeling that suddenly speaks to your thoughts making you realize things that once never crossed your mind.

Perhaps lost in previous sentiments and emotions - that part suddenly awakens. Makes you rethink of the mistakes (charged to moments of brief craziness) or may not even be termed 'mistakes' when it evokes certain feelings of happiness, fun and experiences that help you build those bizarre but memorable memories to last your lifetime.

It's when you reach a point where those things that used to affect you barely even registers as a blip in your sense's radar if at all. It's as if you have become someone new or somebody deleted portions of your brain and emotions that would otherwise succumb to the longing, or the anxiety, the stress or whatever other emotions that once make you decide that living is akin to sweet torture.

But it can only be a matter of time when you may realize that this realization or 'epiphany' may just be a repression of emotions and sentiments given the circumstances. And that a month or two from now things may be different and it would then be up to you to realize this or if it sets you up towards more dumbfounding things.

And yes, it now occurs to you that the mere realization that you've reached a point of realization may soon lead to more confusion and ultimately a lot of wild, sensational (though not necessarily unwelcome) emotions.

Shadows At Midnight

There it was, as I lay awake again

A figure hovering in the dark

“What could that be?”

This question I always ask.

It certainly looked that way,

An image of him I see

But how? When he is far away,

Over the land of the rising sea.

Still, rather than conjuring scary images

Of restless souls and ghouls that creep

I know this sight I now behold is just the power of his thoughts,

of longing to be with me despite our distance so I smile and just fall back to sleep..

(This is a poem I wrote more than 5 years ago. Whew! can't believe this year's almost halfway since I lost posted. I probably would be actively blogging again. Let's see where this leads).

The Lighter Shade of Normal

After the long holidays, we're back in the groove, some of us with a bit of fog in the head.. But nothing beats getting all your mind cleared of the clusters of yesterday by looking ahead to the future..

And as we traipse back to the real work week, and normalcy resumes following the first two weeks of January that  I have termed as merely 'dress rehearsals to 2015 (with the long holidays of Christmas, New Year Holidays and the Papal visit), it would be awesome if we are equipped with something to chase the fuzziness of our days, clear our minds - to make us view the future in high resolution minus the headaches, something lightweight, like this:

ZERO GRAVITY: Ultra-Light Eyewear by Sprinto

SPRINTO launches “Zero Gravity”, its newest, lightest and classiest optical frames collection - one of its many collections brought to Manila. Sprinto, an international brand currently endorsed by Azkals top player Phil Younghusband and America’s Next Top Model Alumni Allison Harvard, was introduced to the local market more than 5 years ago - in the process having proven itself a maker of cutting-edge eyewear that can be both beautiful and functional.

The Zero Gravity Collection features weight-optimized lenses and ultra-light frames that can finally make the headaches caused by heavy spectacles a thing of the past. The secret to these incredibly thin and lightweight frames is Sprinto’s commitment to investing on high quality source material and progressive technology, resulting to products that are rimless, screwless, hingeless, and virtually weightless, with an overall reduced weight of more than 50%, in comparison to regular frames in the market.

One of Sprinto’s best-selling line of products, the Zero Gravity Collection features all the perfect eyewear for the professional on-the-go: lightweight, flexible, perfect for all day, every day. For more information on Sprinto, follow them on Facebook and Instagram @sprintoworld. 

And this is my lighter shade of normal..