My friends and I sometimes find ourselves discussing some random things about life, love and relationships during one of those nights outs.
And there are certain points which I raised with them, just a few of my random theories that I am now posting here to let a few people in on our conversations.
Theory #1: We cannot expect our man or woman to love as we do. -I am a firm believer of not expecting the same amount or degree of love and affection from others as you would from yourself. I mean we are all different beings. We think differently, have separate priorities, with distinct backgrounds and temperaments. It's just not the same for the simple reason that we are not the same.
Theory #2: On certain occasions, our affection wanes and waxes. - There will be instances in the relationship when our lovers are more affectionate toward us while on the next day, it would be our turn to be more caring. Sometimes, how we relate to our lovers/beloved depends on our moods and with what's going on in our lives and minds at that time. But that doesn't mean we love each other any less. And yes, this also explains why there are some moments when I would prefer spending time with friends more than I would with him though I would pretend I am already sleeping at home in case he calls.
Theory#3: Others can only love at a certain level or Some have Limited Capacity for love than most. - When a usually aloof and rather distant lover would suddenly turn more affectionate on one given moment and does some unexpected gesture, we often fail to notice it. Most of the time we fail to realize that the lover is actually already making a super human effort to connect and make the relationship better especially when that person is not hard-wired for romance growing up with the mindset that emotions are only up to a limited level. It is easy for someone who is normally affectionate, romantic and expressive to overlook the fact that someone is after all making a grand enough move to show how much he cares. All because of our wayward idea that lovers in a relationship are supposed to act a certain way, to be romantic, etc. Whereas 'supposed to' become the operative words here.
There must be a way to help us distinguish when our man/woman is raising the bar on their role in the relationship and giving in to their more romantic side. I mean that has to be encouraged by not allowing ourselves to trivialize the gesture. At least show how much we appreciate them and learn to bite our tongues when we feel like criticizing. This is especially true for some ladies when a man gives her a gift that is way off her idea of a truly romantic gift. A lot of men suck at gift-giving anyway so we should not be too hard on them. Women most especially need to get that radar on when their men are doing something out of the 'ordinary' and not continue on bashing them just because they don't happen to fit into the suave, romantic leading man stereotype that she craves. What this theory boils down to is that some people can only reach up to a certain level of loving whereas some of the lucky ones can experience and feel love at a totally higher level and even in higher dosages.
While my friends and I do not often agree on some of these theories I mentioned, somehow it made our get-together a bit interesting and I haven't even started to include our conversations involving (gasp!) orgasms, the capacity for people to actually love more than one person at a time, the case for and against marriage, etc. but that would be part of future posts.
Until then, my theories remain theories..
