L Torio's Theory (on love & life)

My friends and I sometimes find ourselves discussing some random things about life, love and relationships during one of those nights outs.

And there are certain points which I raised with them, just a few of my random theories that I am now posting here to let a few people in on our conversations.

Theory #1: We cannot expect our man or woman to love as we do. -I am a firm believer of not expecting the same amount or degree of love and affection from others as you would from yourself. I mean we are all different beings. We think differently, have separate priorities, with distinct backgrounds and temperaments. It's just not the same for the simple reason that we are not the same.

Theory #2: On certain occasions, our affection wanes and waxes. - There will be instances in the relationship when our lovers are more affectionate toward us while on the next day, it would be our turn to be more caring. Sometimes, how we relate to our lovers/beloved depends on our moods and with what's going on in our lives and minds at that time. But that doesn't mean we love each other any less. And yes, this also explains why there are some moments when I would prefer spending time with friends more than I would with him though I would pretend I am already sleeping at home in case he calls.

Theory#3: Others can only love at a certain level or Some have Limited Capacity for love than most. - When a usually aloof and rather distant lover would suddenly turn more affectionate on one given moment and does some unexpected gesture, we often fail to notice it. Most of the time we fail to realize that the lover is actually already making a super human effort to connect and make the relationship better especially when that person is not hard-wired for romance growing up with the mindset that emotions are only up to a limited level. It is easy for someone who is normally affectionate, romantic and expressive to overlook the fact that someone is after all making a grand enough move to show how much he cares. All because of our wayward idea that lovers in a relationship are supposed to act a certain way, to be romantic, etc. Whereas 'supposed to' become the operative words here.

There must be a way to help us distinguish when our man/woman is raising the bar on their role in the relationship and giving in to their more romantic side. I mean that has to be encouraged by not allowing ourselves to trivialize the gesture. At least show how much we appreciate them and learn to bite our tongues when we feel like criticizing. This is especially true for some ladies when a man gives her a gift that is way off her idea of a truly romantic gift. A lot of men suck at gift-giving anyway so we should not be too hard on them. Women most especially need to get that radar on when their men are doing something out of the 'ordinary' and not continue on bashing them just because they don't happen to fit into the suave, romantic leading man stereotype that she craves. What this theory boils down to is that some people can only reach up to a certain level of loving whereas some of the lucky ones can experience and feel love at a totally higher level and even in higher dosages.

While my friends and I do not often agree on some of these theories I mentioned, somehow it made our get-together a bit interesting and I haven't even started to include our conversations involving (gasp!) orgasms, the capacity for people to actually love more than one person at a time, the case for and against marriage, etc. but that would be part of future posts.

Until then, my theories remain theories..

OMG

this phrase running around my head lately (partly helped by Usher and the song I've been LSS'ing with the past days). At once it is an expression of my amusement and happiness combined with that feeling of exasperation or someone who may just be a bit overwhelmed by a lot of goings-on in my life.

Pretty much sums up how this month, my month is going so far. As in OMG! can't believe that someone is being super sensitive in a pleasurable, exciting way. WHo would have thought that some simple things actually do mean a lot to him?

And then, OMG! i never thought i would get the hang of excel spreadsheets but yes, those sheets are my allies during this time of the year (read: 2010 1st half audit). used to be loyal to just MS word and its cousin notepad but now, those spreadsheets are looking kind of sexy.

Also, OMG! in just a few days' time, we would be having a new Philippine government. see how that will pan out in its first few days. exciting to see how the remaining half of the year will turn out. Always will pray and hope for the best.

OMG! i'm running a bit of space now and soon i just might post my version of haiku /meme/rants (of course i do that often on facebook and twitter anyway) but who knows, someday those little bit of emo-posts might just get published or even run as an app on your favorite e-reader.

OMG! It's rather late and must try to grab that elusive sleep now. goodnight.

No Way to the NaySayers!

I find it slightly annoying the way some people try to live their lives whining at how they are getting all the scraps, lamenting their lots in life. I mean to go griping almost everyday and in the process trying to grate on others people's nerves. My best approach when encountering these types of people is to just act nonchalant, not let myself be affected by their incessant and negative talks and to try real hard not to let that attitude contaminate my thoughts. It's a bit okay if the whining is restricted to what they perceive as being at the raw end of life but to actually take it against the people whom they feel are getting the better deal compared to them - now that is quite unforgivable if you ask me. It's like blaming somebody else for your poor attitude. What they should do is to just try to find what that supposedly 'lucky' person is doing right to deserve the good things in life and not be bitter towards that person. It's not as if the 'lucky' guy or girl has stepped on them or intentionally did something to relegate them into their lowly conditions. What they must realize is that the supposedly lucky person is just in an altogether different mindset, adapting an attitude that is so opposite to what they, the naysayers are used to. That the lucky person is after all also experiencing difficulties, probably having much bigger problems than what the 'whiners' club members' are going through but just reacting a lot better by embracing the good opportunities and pleasant moments in life. So the next time you catch yourself turning into a 'whiny' full of grouse person do not turn against somebody whom you thought are having all the luck and instead try to look around the beauty of the world. Lighten up, have fun and just SMILE so you won't have to worry about having a misspent existence.

Mga Kasabihang Ewan (Sayings Shayings)

Some of these just went through my head as I endured the early morning traffic on this last toxic Monday of May 2010. A play of old quotes and sayings and 'salawikaing pinoy'. Some were re-hashed while mostly I came up with on my own. Already posted a few on my Facebook status during lunch and thought of putting it in my blog as well:

1) Better Late than Ugly

2) If the shoe fits, take it off if you are not paying for it.

3) Kapag Maikli ang kumot, gawin ninyong punda.

4)Some things are better left unsaid (so post it on FB or tweet it away).

5) Do not do unto others, do it yourself ( Ano raw??).

6) If at first you don't succeed, try and throw a tantrum.

7) Love moves in mysterious ways, but we sure reveal way too much.

8) Ang hindi lumingon sa pinanggalingan, may stiff neck.

9) Another version of no. 8 = Ang hindi lumingon sa pinanggalingan, may utang na iniwanan.

10) Matalino man daw ang matsing, sya ay unggoy pa rin.

11) Kung di ukol, wag makulit kung ayaw mo magkabukol.

12) Whoever says money can't buy happiness, doesn't know where to shop.

13) Ang kay pedro, kay pedro, ang kay juan kay juan kung hindi mo alam ang tawag don EWAN.

14) When in Rome, turn your roam service on.

15) I would like to thanks this opportunity to say thank you all.

16) Never say never. Say NO WAY instead or how about- Duh?? I'm so not doing it.

17) Walang matimtimang birhen, dahil wala na yatang natitirang birhen.

18) Love means never having to say 'Sorry, the number you are calling is temporarily off or out of coverage.

19) TIME flies when you're having fun (and you realize it's your sister throwing one of your favorite magazines in your face when you won't stop from singing too loudly as she sleeps).

20) First love never dies. They just turn fat, balding, with too much debt to pay and lots of unresolved angst making you feel lucky you never got married.

Can you read my mind?

Everyone has a story to tell. Some untold secrets waiting to spring to a lending ear. That lady selling dried fish by the corner of that packed alley, the 'magtataho' plying his wares early in the morning and that jeepney or fx 'barker' who annoys passengers with his incessant calls of 'o dalawa pa sa kaliwa, galaw-galaw, baka kayo ma stroke'.

Scenes we see each day as we walk or drive along busy thoroughfares or wander around malls and shops, that is part of the tale. That cosmetic salesgirl who just couldn't wait for her shift to end so that she can finally meet with her boyfriend. How about your manicurist and hairdresser? One can only guess on what is going on through their heads while they push and pull through each cuticle or sigh through the endless routine of blow-drying people's hairs.

It would be interesting to read people's minds but I have noticed for the past several weeks that with the advent of technology, we are actually somehow getting close to doing that. Whether we like it or not, we have become privy to the thoughts of others - be it our friends, our relatives or even strangers via status on Facebook, or blogs and Twitter. It's akin to speaking all your thoughts aloud whether or not the one hearing it care at all or would actually want to hear it.

Still, there is much to learn, much to dissect on all these interactions or force-fed information. But it is enough to believe that as humans, there is really a need to tell our stories and with a little prodding secrets might even be revealed.

Now what does one do with all these stories? Nothing. Just let it flow. Nobody can dare censure another for having those thoughts or take it against someone who may want to tell others what he just had for dinner, or what shoes she just bought for 4,000 bucks while at the same time lamenting she should have spent it on food instead. We are not being forced to give a damn care but as humans, we must just let the story-teller be and respect his/her thoughts. It wouldn't be good to stop people from thinking aloud or writing openly of their thoughts. That would be such a shame when we are just beginning to enjoy some of their stories.

I say, bring it on..

SHADY

Sunglasses- while hiding the glare of this summer’s heat can also be like a mask that covers what my eyes don’t want to reveal - sleepless nights, the sadness within, perhaps, or that twinkle in my eyes after doing something really naughty. Now you know why I love wearing them.

Tapestry

I noticed that there seems to be a parallel between what is going on with my life to what some people who are close to me are also going through with theirs. either our fates are leaning toward the same direction or some of us are experiencing the opposite but everything seems to happen almost simultaneously, like we are acting on cue on our separate movie scenes. Those events in our lives that disrupt the status quo. Which got me into thinking that we are like spools of thread interwoven into a colorful tapestry.

Or it could be that we are just so affected by what is going on in each others' lives that I feel we are riding on the same boat-some of us on the stern, others on the bow, but still traveling along the same ocean.

But come to think of it, it may not be just us and our small circle of friends and loved ones coming together in this tapestry of life but that would include everyone. Yes, even the strangers we meet each day or that obnoxious person by the road, or the children at play. we are locked into this giant spool where we are all just mere threads, sometimes tied up in knots, others cut short by a giant snip of scissors but all intertwined and bound together in this world.

Connected - that's what we all are. and the web makes it all seem so.. yes, this giant web that keeps us perpetually joined together.