Super Typhoon - a Tale of Trauma & Triumph

A thousand blogs and news articles have been written about super typhoon Haiyan (known in the Philippines as 'Yolanda') and more stories would spring forth days, months, even years after, about this deluge that hit our country on the morning of 8 November 2013.  And possibly more than a thousand untold stories of the losses and the survivors' tales.

It has touched our lives and even lives of citizens across the world in ways unimaginable, much like its strong winds that only previously can be comparable to a movie writer's imagination.  For such is the force that it brought Leyte, Samar and other provinces where it mercilessly stormed its deadly path.

satellite feed of Haiyan's approach to Philippines

I still shudder on realization how those of us here in Manila, the Philippine's capital were spared by Haiyan's mighty winds.  It just wafted and blew a mere speckle of its strong winds that fateful Friday night.  Still, even as we're several kilometers away from where it made its 6th and last landfall somewhere in Mindoro (or was it  Palawan, I'm now not so sure), I heard the frightening howl of the winds and we felt some of it too although very mildly compared to those provinces that were directly hit.  I also heard the tin roofs of neighbors' houses banging as if at anytime the wind would pull it off its trusses.  But the beating of my heart then was louder as I already heard snippets of news reports that several houses in Leyte were already destroyed and I can only utter a silent prayer that the typhoon doesn't change its course and proceed to wreak same havoc in our city.  By then I am already well aware of its strength.  In fact, even a week prior to it's reaching the shores of Guiuan, Samar Province, I am already shuddering at the possibilities and well aware of its very strong winds. If only people there were also as paranoid as me, probably there would have been more survivors.

Though I am no weather expert, seeing and reading news of the impending cyclone to hit our land was already at the top of my mind and most especially when reports come not just from our own weather bureau (PAGASA) but also reports corroborated by foreign meteorologists. I worry that we might lose the roof of our home in case it hits Manila. I know that those meteorologists and typhoon-watchers were closely monitoring what they fear is a really monster storm considering that it had been topping their scales of how they normally gauge super typhoons.  If there probably was a stronger word than 'super' I guess that would have been more appropriate to describe those ominous clouds.  Yolanda's diameter is even scarier as I watch satellite feeds of its approach.

AFP Getty Image- survivors wander around the rubble

So when I saw how badly devastated those parts of the provinces in the Visayas were, I am no longer surprised.  Still that knowledge did not prepare me for the trauma it has caused to the psyche. Imagine the countless unidentified corpses, the despair, hurt and pain of our countrymen who not only had to battle the surging seas that washed ashore and destroyed lives and homes, but also the, hunger, thirst, inequities and human indignities suffered post-Haiyan.  The unimaginable suffering and pain they all had to go through and I know that if I have a similar experience I'm not sure I could even learn to smile again.  At least not for a very long time if at all..

And then there were the blame games (both by government vs. local officials of the badly hit towns and vice-versa), the bashing of the government by some quarters over the seemingly very slow & poorly coordinated relief and retrieval operations that only add to the nation's trauma.  Still, there is a glimmer of hope.  For after international media aired the devastation and continue to chronicle and broadcast/write about the plight of our brothers and sisters in the Visayas, the whole world suddenly took notice of our simple Philippine archipelago.  Suddenly, it's as if the storm brought together the whole world to rally behind our countrymen, to send support, offer prayers and just encourage us to go on and rise above the catastrophe.  That alone signified that after all the trauma of this horrific typhoon, there is a triumph of the human spirit.  This triumph is even made more evident with the way some of those who survived the giant storm surge still manage to smile and you still see the children after emerging from the rubble grinning, waving at correspondents' cameras, some even playing a basketball game amid the ruins.  It is amazing that somehow there is still hope and that their spirit is still left untouched by Haiyan.  The way they are also clamoring for help, queuing up to get to better lands, or ride on the rescue plains to move and rebuild their lives somewhere show a true fighting heart, and an even stronger spirit that is still very much willing to live and not let the destruction of monster Yolanda totally wipe them out or reduce their souls to rubble.

USAID soldiers carrying relief goods for Tacloban City victims

One can only conclude that after all these trauma a most refreshing victory follow.  A triumph brought by love for one another (freely given by Filipinos to its countrymen and outpouring of support and concern by citizens of other nations toward the Filipinos and to our whole country).  Triumph trumps trauma after all.

A war within

The mind and heart once more waging its battle.  All weapons drawn..The mind just would not put up with the inconsistencies anymore even if the heart is willing to plead its case.  It is ready to take the bull by the horn and splatter its insides all over where it will no longer cease to operate.

You see the mind discovers things not normally seen by the heart.  It sees a lot and is poised to take action. When pain is just too much and it knows it can kill that pulsating blob, it has to cut off that part so as not to infect the whole being. Just like that scene in the movie World War Z..however painful, even if the part of the arm is severed, it has to be done to avoid the whole zombie virus from infecting the person.

And the heart somehow understands this predicament..it is somewhat willing to get parts of it cut even if it is rendered almost inert, almost incapable of what once had it beating so powerfully, so musically..it is even prepared to die than be the 'undead'.. for the mind has spoken, telling (no, demanding) that the heart relent this time. no excuses, no sentiments to offer as shield to the brain's firepower..

But of course, even if the heart does not wish to live a life like a zombie, it still would not just let go of the part that plays the pulsating rhythm so easily..at least not without a fight.

Whichever would prevail? Either one could win and another to lose or both can lose or win at the same time.

Parables or Possibles

Parables have their purpose.  Sometimes you are reminded of it when faced with a certain situation in life.  When we are forced to make some tough choices.

There is one that particularly comes to mind at this stage.  The parable of the wolf with the chunk of meat in his mouth.  He walks along the bridge and happens to gaze at his reflection on the water.  Being the animal that he is, he is not aware that it is only a reflection. What he focused on is that there's this other wolf with a bigger piece than the meat he currently carries in his mouth.

Well, since this is a parable, the writer is free to incorporate a human nature on the part of the beast. The nature of greed and/or dissatisfaction. So what happens next is that the wolf realizes that there is another animal like him with a bigger meat in its mouth so he suddenly lets go of the what he got in between his teeth and jumped through his reflection on the water.  And as he splashed on the raging river lost the piece of meat he has to the strong current..

That story puts a pretty strong premium on how greed often makes us lose more than what we had hoped for.  And that not appreciating what we have while it's within our grasp results in undesirable consequences.

So now how do I face this situation? Do I need to be reminded of that parable or am I after all really looking at the real possibilities of what life can be? for me, for now and in the future?

This is my dilemma.

Never-Say-Die is Timeless

Ah, basketball. When ever did I started getting hooked in watching this game? Something about the interplay of all the participants, each with his own role in the team & the fast-paced action culminating in the entering of a ball to a ring atop a rather lofty pole.

Yes, I am a basketball fan. But more importantly I am a fan of Philippine basketball, notably the PBA.  My first glimpse of the game was back when I was too young to fully comprehend what it's all about. All I recall then was the running to and fro, the shooting of the ball which somehow mesmerized my impressionable mind back then. I chanced upon those games on TV waking up in the middle of the night to go downstairs to pee, probably just 5 or 6 yrs old I do not remember.  My parents were both watching, the lights turned off and only the glare of the TV set (black and white then) illuminated the living room.  So after taking a pee I would always walk by my parents and sit behind my father (me, in my semi-awake state) and just stared blankly on the TV screen at the jumping, running men with a lone ball as their toy.  There were many nights like that and to this day I can still vividly recall that comfortable feeling of just sitting behind both parents as they watched basketball (come to think of it, I now wonder why they are so silent watching the game). PBA Games were on delayed telecast then as I they weren't showing the games live and possibly the programming on TV confined to Marcos propaganda but that's another story.

Both my parents were Crispa fans & back then I somehow had a glimpse of Philippine basketball rivalry between Crispa and Toyota days.  And then other childhood activities took over and I stopped watching for a few years.  Until Ginebra happened..

Suffice it to say that spanning almost two decades now, I have been hooked on the Ginebra San Miguel brand of basketball. And to think that I grew up almost a Crispa fan and never a Jaworski fan because of my parents but somehow fate would intervene and I developed a fondness for the Jaworski magic that soon transcended into the Ginebra spirit as we know now.

After taking a hiatus from watching PBA games because of pressing 'childhood' matters, I again started to take notice of the PBA games (and yes, the colored TV was already in vogue and President Marcos has since been deposed) in 1986.  There were certain problems of personal and family nature that happened then and what kept me going in those dark days (I was still very young & in pre-adolescent stage so I was probably depressed for all the wrong, petty reasons) was my renewed interest in watching PBA games and the kind of play that I saw Ginebra dish out.  I was never aware then that Ginebra is beginning its crowd-darling status.  All I know was during those rather depressing moments or what you may simply call the 'emo stages' of my life, I was entertained watching the team play.  It became my rallying point too whenever I see the Ginebra team of old rally from 20 points down until they emerge as winners.  All trepidation in life, all the depressing situations washed away by watching my favorite team subdue their opponents.  Every behind-the-back pass of Jaworski to a streaking Dondon Ampalayo, a 3-point shot by Loyzaga, or a courtside 'nakaw play' was my elixir to ward off any misgivings on the existence of good life.  Watching Ginebra win is like a signal for me that yes, I too can take on anything that fate throws at me.

The way the whole team carried on the creed of never-say-die for many years now continued to get me hooked on Ginebra that even if the older players were since replaced by younger, more athletic guys, my fondness for watching the team play has never waned. Each win, each obstacle the team faced and hurdled with fortitude only served as an inspiration to carry on despite the challenges.  At the height of my growing fanaticism then with Ginebra, I even composed a poem for them during my teens. I might post it separately here and dedicate to the throngs of their followers.

Watching Ginebra play is like a diversion for me - to ward off loneliness when the boyfriend is far away working abroad, a balm to a weary mind whenever life's situation is less than ideal. It's like an unseen brother's consoling hand to a sister whose heart is broken - well, at least almost that kind of effect just to give you an idea.  As a die-hard fan of the never-say-die team, it is often hard to explain this devotion.  It's like trying to explain to others why you love someone when the mere definition of the feeling doesn't even come close to the actual feeling so it's best to leave it unexplained.

And once more with Ginebra facing a gigantic task tonight to beat a strong team, their attempt at victory will again be foremost in my mind as well as in the minds of the thousands of Ginebra fans in the land (and some Filipinos overseas, my boyfriend included).  It is a challenge that we will face alongside the team - and their win tonight to enter the next level of the playoffs would be like a fresh mango shake taken on a sweltering midday sun, a bit like crushing all those jellies at Candy Crush Saga (he he, well not exactly but close) and almost synonymous to the elation brought by a budding summer romance - exhilarating, inspiring and yes always unforgettable.

Because even as black & white TVs have become relics of the past thanks to the Flat Screen LEDs, and social media and the internet has taken over most of our conversations or the iconic voice of Joe Cantada now replaced by the amusingly funny in-his-own-way but sensible type of game commentary of Mico Halili , the never-say-die spirit lives on.  Because like our pursuit to happiness & our constant battle with life's struggles the Ginebra's formula of conquering the odds will forever be timeless.

Waiting Shade

During summer here people rush to find cover or the nearest waiting shed outside to escape punishing heat

When rainy season starts, people rush again to find cover from heavy downpour.

Common denominator: THE waiting shed

CHANGES & CHANCES

A lot of changes..yes, we are often faced with it. In our daily lives but more so now when thinking about certain situations in my life now. We just had to deal with it not because it is inevitable but because we just have to. And most of the time, there are no reasons or hidden meanings, we just have to pass through it.

But more than these changes that we know are likely to happen anyway and one we could not dictate or demand to not happen, somehow there is a change we need to make to survive.  And that is to change our attitude. Our perception about change bears changing.  While not exactly welcoming each change that comes our way with open arms, we should change how we react to it and in so doing open up ourselves to better chances.

It's all about how we handle the change, how we manage to remain calm, poised while being alert to opportunities at the same time.  For any change we should try to offset with all the chances. Chances we need to take so that whatever is no longer the same would somehow still continue to feel the same. Change should not chain us but charge us into making a brighter tomorrow.

Changes - only exceptional people go through it much stronger, though not exactly unscathed, still are much better off than when things stayed the same..

Whispers from the heart

in the silence - the only echo one hears is the beating of the heart.. pining for that memory and knowing that it cannot be retrieved or replayed now just craving for the future that brings more of that bliss..

the angst of an unspoken word from a sullen lover is easily felt despite its incessant throbbing..it knows when it's troubled or at least feel the hurt and the pain of its counterpart..

now needing to reach out through all that distance, to clear the cobwebs of doubt and try to heal the wounded one so that they can again bond together, unaffected by time, distance or circumstances..

in continuing to do so it whispers only what the other can hear ..whispering a love that both hold dear