My July Verse

Haven't written poetry in a while. Not even those short verses or what one can call my version of the haiku. Still, this heart and mind wouldn't let me rest and I just have to come up with this, even if it doesn't make much sense to others, my emotions can pretty much discern what it means:

Close to calling it all off,Seemingly nonchalant,
one moment totally unaffected, then the heart on alert the next instant.
It doesn't come as near as the magic of yore,
couldn't even be defined as a thumping force anymore
but this we could not deny, things always would come up just as before
to make us realize that's really what we are here for.

The Tootsie Roll Days

Each time there's a heavy downpour outside and dark clouds above, I am sometimes almost brought back to those long gone days when I was a child. When my mom was still around.How i loved the rainy days and cherished some of the typhoons then. Sure, there were super typhoons in the past but none of the kinds we had to deal with the past couple of years. Or maybe I was just too naive then, so innocent and unmindful of what's going on around us. We were all safely cocooned inside our own shells and seemingly content so whatever damage those past typhoons may have done were lost on me. Didn't even came to my attention. I believe that is the feeling that i am hoping to recapture in trying to reminisce about those past moments - the contentment, the simplicity of things minus the clutter and information overload and the disturbing facts of life. One can say I almost lived a sheltered life as a youngster, self-absorbed in my own little world.

What I love then each time Signal No. 2 or 3 was raised apart from the suspension of classes & more playtime is that our mom gets to stay at home. For she too was a hardworking woman, responsible for bringing food to our table so it was such a
rare treat to have her around in the morning throughout lunch and dinner cooking our comfort foods and just bantering w/the kids during those wet, cold and windy times. Back then, all I felt was pure warmth and love.

Another childhood memory I wouldn't mind playing repeatedly in my head are those days when my father would come home for lunch on work days bringing with him some of that good old choco candy 'Flat Tops' for us kids. Flat Tops seemed tastier & richer compared to what's now being sold on the market. Probably Ricoa did some cost-cutting, scrimping on a few ingredients here and there.

Or it can also mean that my taste buds were more sensitive then, apparently not yet numbed by too much caffeine, alcohol, spicy foods or whatever.

There were also some of those treats from yesteryears that I don't see much of these days. I wonder if they still exist to this day. Does any one of you remember Tootsie Rolls? Those chewy chocolate candies that come in small, medium, large sizes. We used to buy lots of them at our neighborhood sari-sari stores taking small, slow kiddie bites.

And the Magnolia Chocolait in a bottle. Somehow it never tasted the same again after they replaced the containers with either the plastic bottle or tetrapak kind.

Even Chippy and Clover chips tasted differently today than they used to when we were younger. But i don't believe that taste is in the tongue of the eater. I know for a fact that some of these food manufacturers are now using different ingredients to go w/ the latest technology. And that's why their long gone tastes will now only be in our memories, much like the moments that cannot be re-enacted the same way inasmuch as we are now living and dealing w/ different people and a totally different environment - no more Mama and Papa, and the storms and typhoons more violent than ever..

Still it's nice to look back on those things that can bring a smile to our faces. Those warm recollections that could help us move forward toward a better future. And reminding us that good things do exist and can be felt throughout space and time.

The Lure of the Vampire

And in this modern day and age, one would think that we have outgrown the mesmerizing stare of the vampire. Yes, I understand the fascination about this immortal creature, at once sexy and menacing - oh, what a lot of girls (and ladies) would like in their men. A mixture of the wild with the mysterious & the strength unmatched by creatures of lesser form.

I know why movies like Twilight, and its sequels and tv shows like Vampire Diaries were such big hits - it's just the lure of the vampire!

Something about vampires we just couldn't resist. That sudden rush, the bliss of an impending bite into one's neck.. somehow we could not help ourselves but embrace the moment knowing that we are either doomed or may suffer immortality. And the fun part about it is we just don't care even if we die from the sharp fangs (when even the glint of that fang can send shivers of delight and horror at one instant). Isn't that the kind of rush one feels when one is deeply in love or enamored with someone?

I know it would be a frightening ordeal to live as an immortal but once the vampire had you in his grip, and breathing down your neck - you just want him to forge ahead afraid that any hesitation on his part may lead you to change your mind or push him away. Not that any push or shove from a mere human like you can put him off but then you just get drawn by that embrace even if it means you will have to live your life forever, even if that is one boring existence, with friends dying on you. that would be a lonely life indeed and one you must share with an equal immortal like Ex-president GMA. Yes, I get the feeling she is an immortal - the lady that just won't fade into the night.

Back to the vampires. It is safe to say that somehow, despite these threats, we are and will always be attracted to the vampire.. that dark, sinister eyes.. which somehow pretty much sums up the kind of relationship I have with my own dark knight.. who is not wearing an armor by the way..

L Torio's Theory (on love & life)

My friends and I sometimes find ourselves discussing some random things about life, love and relationships during one of those nights outs.

And there are certain points which I raised with them, just a few of my random theories that I am now posting here to let a few people in on our conversations.

Theory #1: We cannot expect our man or woman to love as we do. -I am a firm believer of not expecting the same amount or degree of love and affection from others as you would from yourself. I mean we are all different beings. We think differently, have separate priorities, with distinct backgrounds and temperaments. It's just not the same for the simple reason that we are not the same.

Theory #2: On certain occasions, our affection wanes and waxes. - There will be instances in the relationship when our lovers are more affectionate toward us while on the next day, it would be our turn to be more caring. Sometimes, how we relate to our lovers/beloved depends on our moods and with what's going on in our lives and minds at that time. But that doesn't mean we love each other any less. And yes, this also explains why there are some moments when I would prefer spending time with friends more than I would with him though I would pretend I am already sleeping at home in case he calls.

Theory#3: Others can only love at a certain level or Some have Limited Capacity for love than most. - When a usually aloof and rather distant lover would suddenly turn more affectionate on one given moment and does some unexpected gesture, we often fail to notice it. Most of the time we fail to realize that the lover is actually already making a super human effort to connect and make the relationship better especially when that person is not hard-wired for romance growing up with the mindset that emotions are only up to a limited level. It is easy for someone who is normally affectionate, romantic and expressive to overlook the fact that someone is after all making a grand enough move to show how much he cares. All because of our wayward idea that lovers in a relationship are supposed to act a certain way, to be romantic, etc. Whereas 'supposed to' become the operative words here.

There must be a way to help us distinguish when our man/woman is raising the bar on their role in the relationship and giving in to their more romantic side. I mean that has to be encouraged by not allowing ourselves to trivialize the gesture. At least show how much we appreciate them and learn to bite our tongues when we feel like criticizing. This is especially true for some ladies when a man gives her a gift that is way off her idea of a truly romantic gift. A lot of men suck at gift-giving anyway so we should not be too hard on them. Women most especially need to get that radar on when their men are doing something out of the 'ordinary' and not continue on bashing them just because they don't happen to fit into the suave, romantic leading man stereotype that she craves. What this theory boils down to is that some people can only reach up to a certain level of loving whereas some of the lucky ones can experience and feel love at a totally higher level and even in higher dosages.

While my friends and I do not often agree on some of these theories I mentioned, somehow it made our get-together a bit interesting and I haven't even started to include our conversations involving (gasp!) orgasms, the capacity for people to actually love more than one person at a time, the case for and against marriage, etc. but that would be part of future posts.

Until then, my theories remain theories..

OMG

this phrase running around my head lately (partly helped by Usher and the song I've been LSS'ing with the past days). At once it is an expression of my amusement and happiness combined with that feeling of exasperation or someone who may just be a bit overwhelmed by a lot of goings-on in my life.

Pretty much sums up how this month, my month is going so far. As in OMG! can't believe that someone is being super sensitive in a pleasurable, exciting way. WHo would have thought that some simple things actually do mean a lot to him?

And then, OMG! i never thought i would get the hang of excel spreadsheets but yes, those sheets are my allies during this time of the year (read: 2010 1st half audit). used to be loyal to just MS word and its cousin notepad but now, those spreadsheets are looking kind of sexy.

Also, OMG! in just a few days' time, we would be having a new Philippine government. see how that will pan out in its first few days. exciting to see how the remaining half of the year will turn out. Always will pray and hope for the best.

OMG! i'm running a bit of space now and soon i just might post my version of haiku /meme/rants (of course i do that often on facebook and twitter anyway) but who knows, someday those little bit of emo-posts might just get published or even run as an app on your favorite e-reader.

OMG! It's rather late and must try to grab that elusive sleep now. goodnight.

No Way to the NaySayers!

I find it slightly annoying the way some people try to live their lives whining at how they are getting all the scraps, lamenting their lots in life. I mean to go griping almost everyday and in the process trying to grate on others people's nerves. My best approach when encountering these types of people is to just act nonchalant, not let myself be affected by their incessant and negative talks and to try real hard not to let that attitude contaminate my thoughts. It's a bit okay if the whining is restricted to what they perceive as being at the raw end of life but to actually take it against the people whom they feel are getting the better deal compared to them - now that is quite unforgivable if you ask me. It's like blaming somebody else for your poor attitude. What they should do is to just try to find what that supposedly 'lucky' person is doing right to deserve the good things in life and not be bitter towards that person. It's not as if the 'lucky' guy or girl has stepped on them or intentionally did something to relegate them into their lowly conditions. What they must realize is that the supposedly lucky person is just in an altogether different mindset, adapting an attitude that is so opposite to what they, the naysayers are used to. That the lucky person is after all also experiencing difficulties, probably having much bigger problems than what the 'whiners' club members' are going through but just reacting a lot better by embracing the good opportunities and pleasant moments in life. So the next time you catch yourself turning into a 'whiny' full of grouse person do not turn against somebody whom you thought are having all the luck and instead try to look around the beauty of the world. Lighten up, have fun and just SMILE so you won't have to worry about having a misspent existence.

Mga Kasabihang Ewan (Sayings Shayings)

Some of these just went through my head as I endured the early morning traffic on this last toxic Monday of May 2010. A play of old quotes and sayings and 'salawikaing pinoy'. Some were re-hashed while mostly I came up with on my own. Already posted a few on my Facebook status during lunch and thought of putting it in my blog as well:

1) Better Late than Ugly

2) If the shoe fits, take it off if you are not paying for it.

3) Kapag Maikli ang kumot, gawin ninyong punda.

4)Some things are better left unsaid (so post it on FB or tweet it away).

5) Do not do unto others, do it yourself ( Ano raw??).

6) If at first you don't succeed, try and throw a tantrum.

7) Love moves in mysterious ways, but we sure reveal way too much.

8) Ang hindi lumingon sa pinanggalingan, may stiff neck.

9) Another version of no. 8 = Ang hindi lumingon sa pinanggalingan, may utang na iniwanan.

10) Matalino man daw ang matsing, sya ay unggoy pa rin.

11) Kung di ukol, wag makulit kung ayaw mo magkabukol.

12) Whoever says money can't buy happiness, doesn't know where to shop.

13) Ang kay pedro, kay pedro, ang kay juan kay juan kung hindi mo alam ang tawag don EWAN.

14) When in Rome, turn your roam service on.

15) I would like to thanks this opportunity to say thank you all.

16) Never say never. Say NO WAY instead or how about- Duh?? I'm so not doing it.

17) Walang matimtimang birhen, dahil wala na yatang natitirang birhen.

18) Love means never having to say 'Sorry, the number you are calling is temporarily off or out of coverage.

19) TIME flies when you're having fun (and you realize it's your sister throwing one of your favorite magazines in your face when you won't stop from singing too loudly as she sleeps).

20) First love never dies. They just turn fat, balding, with too much debt to pay and lots of unresolved angst making you feel lucky you never got married.